Do You or Someone You Know Get the Winter Blues? Here’s How You Can Get Through It!


Holiday season has landed! 

On Halloween day, I went to Target to get some treats for the tricksters who were sure to ring my bell later that night. I had to walk through FOUR aisles of Christmas decoration aisles! I had to navigate around TWO aisles of Thanksgiving items!

I was in a holiday time warp!

Christmas tree displays, ornaments, and lights bring me nostalgically back to my wonder years of family holidays. Sweet memories of carols, ribbons and bows… and COOKIES!

But the holiday paraphernalia ALSO brings me back to the overwhelming obligations I have – the obligations we ALL have – to traditions and family.

I love those too, but they are STRESSFUL!

I’m just one person! I can’t be at my in-laws AND my own folks’ homes for eggnog and gifts, especially when I JUST split myself in two over the turkey day! I spent more time on the freeway and holiday commute than I did with actual family!


Not only do we have ten times the responsibilities and commitments over the entire span from Nov zero to January thirty-second! We still have ALL our usual ones too!

Classes, meetings, get-togethers, golf, yoga, kids…

Oh did I mention KIDS?


Well, guess what? I have some remedies.

I’m not here just to curse the darkness of winter. I’m here to light candles!

Put ’em on your menorah, your mantle or among your holiday décor… but we gotta bring some light to this subject of HOLIDAY STRESS!

As the blog title promises:

Here are some things you can do this Holiday season to make your Christmas (and Thanksgiving) stress-free! Oh! And New Year’s too!

Ready? Let’s get practical so we can get busy shopping, wrapping, giving AND receiving!

What Causes Holiday Stress?

  1. SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder, AKA The Winter Blues
  2. Temptations (Eat, Drink and be MISERABLE!)
  3. No Time! Too Many Obligations and Commitments (Traditions)!
  4. Inertia: Lack of Exercise and Motion

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! Let’s go through them.

But I never just give you the knowledge, do I? No!

I always give strategies and SOLUTIONS!

Watch my video below, or keep reading to learn about what you can do right now to eliminate holiday stress.

1: SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder – Winter Blues/Depression)

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?
What is Winter Depression or Winter Blues?
How does it affect your lifestyle?

How can we NEUTRALIZE it?

SAD, aka Winter Depression, is a mood disorder that affects more than 3 million people in the US and more than 7 million worldwide.

Seasonal Depression doesn’t just affect those in cloudy climates like the Pacific Northwest or Nordic Europe! We are ALL affected by the shift in the angle of the sun and the fewer hours of daylight as we get through the winter months. Your brain (especially your Pineal and Pituitary glands) are conditioned to your home climate and when the sunlight becomes less than what we’re used to, we’re affected. 

Whether you live in the South Pole or sunny, southern California like I do, winter has an effect on us all. 

  • The rate of ADDICTION RELAPSE skyrockets in the winter!
  • Diet commitments plummet
  • Exercise decreases
  • Bodies store more fat than proteins

This happens due to two main reasons: 

  • The lack of diurnal activity: Motion and sunlight
  • THE HOLIDAY CRUNCH: The extra responsibilities, stress and temptations

You CAN’T change the equinoxes or solstices. You CAN’T change the holiday calendar! And while it seems you can change your time management and the ways these two factors affect you, that’s not so easy either.


Sure… Seasonal Affective Disorder sucks, but how? 

Symptoms of winter depression include a depressed state, feeling withdrawn from life, less, low or no motivation to do things, low self-esteem, loss or increase in appetite (usually an increase!) and fatigue, especially early evening after sundown.  

Some less common symptoms include difficulty waking up in the morning, morning sickness, tendency to oversleep, overeating, craving carbohydrates (which leads to weight gain), difficulty concentrating, difficulty completing tasks, withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities… 

All of this leads to the depression, pessimism, feelings of hopelessness, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder.

Most of the treatments for this are based in medications.  

Anyone who is a regular reader of my editorials knows how I feel about that. Meds too often create side effects that are just as undesirable as the thing we’re treating. Side effects of anti-depressants may include suicidal ideation.


That’s the whole reason people are TAKING anti-depressants! That’s called a paradoxical effect and med companies think it’s freakin NORMAL!  


In addition to that, meds often fail to work at all, or over time cease to be effective, forcing us to deal with the problem at its source all over again. And that little unpromoted prescription drug feature is called tolerance and immunity! Yeah, both of these are SOOO consistent they got names for them. And as long as they disclose it on the ads, it’s all good!

I don’t know about you, but if the car I’m buying has a real possibility of spontaneous combustion when parallel parking, I’m NOT BUYING IT! I DON’T CARE IF IT’S UNLIKELY OR JUST ONE OUT OF A FIVE HUNDRED! THAT’S TOO MUCH!

This is the same government bureaucracy that allows TEN rodent hairs in 50 grams of hot dogs! I’m sorry. But ONE is too much! NO! One suicidal ideation side effect means that that med is NO GOOD.

Just ask Chris Cornell and Robin Williams among DOZENS of others worldwide! And let’s not forget the DAILY headlines of every type of prescription medications causing massive addiction crisis, suicidal and homicidal behaviors. Xanax to opiates cause MAJOR risks.

So, I do NOT recommend nor advocate ‘scrip meds for any solvable ailment such as SAD or addiction. I’ve been solving BOTH of them for decades with strategies, training, and hypnotherapy (>90% success in sleep, anxiety/depression, and addiction treatment success)!

So here’s the answer to SAD.

Whenever possible, SAD sufferers should get outdoors and take in as much sunlight as possible. 

Take your lunch outside! Put on a sweater, get cozy and bring a thermos of hot soup and hot chocolate to enjoy OUTDOORS! Dress warm, pack a lunch and get outside. Even if it’s cloudy, the ultraviolet rays still get through!

Because a major cause is an individual’s constitution and temperament, many things can be done to restore balance to the body’s chemistry. 


I use a light therapy treatment with many of my clients; a specialized device used for just this purpose.  You can get these online for $30-$60. (Word of advice: Do NOT use them within 4 hours of bedtime!)

In addition to that, I help them adjust their diet and other daily routines that can minimize SAD symptoms and I combine hypnotherapy and biofeedback to adjust the nervous system and subconscious mindset.

My biofeedback tool is effective. I love it! I can use it even with clients in other countries and states! With all these strategies combined, SAD rarely stands a chance.

And of course, sufferers from depression benefit from these treatments year-round. Our subconscious mind has survival coping mechanisms based in the fight or flight responses to threats it perceives. Winter depressions are categorized as a threat by your subconscious! It’s why animals hibernate. They can’t get light therapy, pills or hypnotherapy (but YOU can)!

The subconscious creates a battery of coping mechanisms to protect you which, much like prescribed meds, can make things worse when we don’t use them properly.

Try a hypnotherapy sample by clicking here.

Interested in a private session to treat your SAD? Click here to learn more.

2. Temptations


The brain generates cravings for junk food, drugs, alcohol, and other behaviors to compensate for lower serotonin. These vices cause an abrupt release of serotonin and other endorphins. Abrupt, unnatural release runs our endorphin well dry! We’ve run out when we need it the most! The side effects are exponential

Weight, addiction, lethargy, self-deprecation…

By the way… Your subconscious isn’t literally trying to sabotage you. It’s just doing its job! It’s trying to get you to do things to compensate for the lack of happy chemicals, but it can’t speak to you in plain English. 

So, it creates cravings instead. It needs adrenaline and glutamate in balanced doses and more serotonin so it creates cravings for them. Your mind and body are aware that sugar, carbs, and narcotics get the job done — so it doesn’t pick and choose between healthy cravings and unhealthy ones!

WE are the ones who interpret these cravings as junk food, drugs or shopping, instead of healthy choices. WHY?


Because of the infamous formula for creating ALL behaviors: Repetition and Association!

Many of my readers and clients are very familiar with this. I give an annual workshop on it every New Year. (Stand by for that! It’s comin’!)

You’ve repeated junk food, drugs or other vice behaviors often so it’s just what the SUBconscious is familiar with. It has a junk food, drug, bad habits, etc. reference library and it’s looking for a quick fix so it creates cravings for them. 

That’s the Repetition part.

In the past, you’ve indulged in these behaviors and enjoyed them. 

This is the Association part of creating habits and addictions. We’ve repeated a behavior and associated it as pleasure: REPETITION AND ASSOCIATION! Habit (or addiction!) is now PROGRAMMED! 

Break the cycle.

3. No Time! Too many obligations and commitments (traditions)!

So… how ‘bout skipping some of those holiday traditions?

Traditions hold us to habits, obligations, patterns and behaviors.

As much as they can deplete us, the alternative ain’t an option because:

  • We loooove our annual holiday party!
  • We loooove turkey at Aunt Betty’s and Christmas cookies at Grandma’s!
  • We loooove the office Christmas Eve party!

Sure, it’s stressful to manage all the extra obligations and massive expenses over the last quarter of the year, but it’s tradition! How can we break with traditions we loooove?

Notice: EVERY ONE of these traditions is centered around food and booze! Sure, they SAY it’s about family and friends, but if you take away the food and drink, watch these festivities come to a screeeeeching halt.

How can we break with traditions we loooove?

We’re just one person and we can’t be at all places with all people. So… what gets cut?

  1. Don’t over commit:
    You gotta learn to say NO. You can’t be everywhere with everyone. Make the commitment to your self. “Sis/Neighbor/Co-worker/Uncle John — It breaks my heart, but I don’t think I can make this year’s holiday party and if things change I’m definitely gonna try to still come. Please forgive me! I’m soooo sorry!”
  2. Make a list
    Make the good ole fashioned list and then prioritize them:
    – Xmas shopping
    – Meal planning
    – Kids’ holiday school play
    – Neighbors’ poker night
    – Overtime at work
    The list goes on… Make it and then prioritize  them. Start numbering them in priority and once you get to five or seven, get textin’!

4. Inertia: Lack of exercise and motion

Your circulation is slower. We are nature’s children, so our bodies and neurology respond to the season change.

  • Circulation is lower during the time of the winter holidays
  • Less serotonin and more melatonin makes us less motivated
  • Holiday concerns and obligations use vital energy

What do we do about it? We KNOW we need exercise and we KNOW our lower activity levels are sapping our energy, but it’s not so simple to solve, is it?


Goes back to that Repetition and Association thing I explained earlier. If change were as simple as making up our minds, we’d all be perfect. We’ve got TOO much to do! The SUBconscious reigns supreme!

We must appease the SUBconscious! We gotta outsmart it!

When you think of motion, activity, and exercise, don’t overthink it! Less is more.

Get movin’! Before or after your outdoor lunch, take a walk! The midday time is prime for healthy endorphin release! Two birds with one stone, here. Take your lunch outside and take a walk before or after. 

What’s that you say? It’s rainin’? SO WHAT! 

You gotta an umbrella, don’t ya? A hat? A plastic bag? C’mon!

Where there’s a will there’s a way. 

Even though walking in gloom might seem depressing, the awareness of taking charge and being proactive will totally compensate.

Getting your joints and muscles flexed along with some cardio is just what the doctor ordered. NO, you don’t need to work up a sweat or even hard breathing. Just get your blood circulating and get some O2 (oxygen)! It will flow into your ventricles and into your brain, stimulating positive endorphins.

Don’t wait to jog or for the treadmill. Your daily jog or treadmill routine may get interfered with! Postponed! Cancelled! 

A stroll in the morning, in the afternoon, or anytime can be ADDED to the treadmill workout if you do them. And if you run slow, late, skip or don’t do the treadmill, then you’re really ahead of the game! 


Don’t take the elevator, take the stairs. Don’t use your downstairs bathroom, use the UPSTAIRS! Don’t park at the entrance. Park your car on the FAR side of the lot at the shopping mall or grocery store.

It all adds up!

What’s that you say? You’re in a hurry?

C’mon! The extra THIRTY seconds of parking lot trekking is NOOOOT gonna make you late!

Waiting for an appointment? At the doctor or in the waiting room before a meeting?

Well, get movin’! Take that stroll. Pace the hallway! Multi-task! Text or talk while you’re walking!


There are PLENTY of motion opportunities. Put your excuses in a gift basket and GIVE them away! What is needed is more than a knowledge-base of awareness (like you’re getting here). 

Addictions and Holidays

Addiction behavior goes WAY up through the holidays. Whether it’s gaming, pornography, food, shopping, alcohol, pills or any other drug, using episodes are skyrocketing.

This isn’t alarming news to anyone, but what may surprise you is WHY.

WHY does drug abuse and addictive behavior ramp up from November to past New Years? And far more vital is WHAT can we do to minimize the risk and slow it down.

What we can do is A LOT!

First, let’s understand WHY.

What causes drug, alcohol, food and behavioral addiction behaviors to escalate so much over a season that is about family, love, God and goodwill?

We just learned about these causes.

These are the four main factors that are major triggers to using and relapse episodes:

  1. Winter
    Less daylight, cold temperatures and biology cause toxic coping mechanisms
  2. Too much to do, not enough time
    Holiday obligations plus normal ones can make life overwhelming
  3. Temptation
    ALL of our vices are on constant display during the holidays: Food, booze, drugs, shopping…
  4. Inertia
    Winter depression, lethargy, weight gain, low energy all make a perfect storm

And here are the four tips for dealing with Holiday Stress:

  1. Get Outdoors!
    Take your lunch outside and walk before or after
  2. Don’t REMOVE bad habits, REPLACE them!
    Understand Repetition & Association. Replace bad habits and addictions with good habits
  3. Take Control of Your Time!
    Don’t overcommit. List, prioritize, and modify plans. It’s okay to say no.
  4. Inertia!
    Take those walks. Take the stairs, park in the far lot, pace the hallways
  5. Gratitude!
    Holidays are a spiritual time of year to honor the blessings in your life

Taking care of yourself during the holidays is never selfish. If you put yourself last, others will likely follow. You can’t take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. Seek balance! What you do in November can eliminate stress in December!

If changing a behavior were as simple as making up our minds, we’d all be perfect!

We need to condition the subconscious mind to NEW, STABLE and HEALTHY behaviors!


This is where I come in!

I don’t just teach my clients the knowledge. 


But knowledge unapplied is useless. And we need STRATEGY to apply knowledge!

I give you the strategies to UNDO and REPLACE bad habits, addictions, and behaviors. And it can’t be the same formula for everyone.

We all have different body types, different minds, different likes and dislikes, weaknesses AND STRENGTHS. This is why rehabs, medications and conventional therapy FAILS eight times out of ten! It’s not personalized. It’s one-size-fits-all.

I teach in my video courses, books and live sessions how to CREATE and CUSTOMIZE a formula for YOU:

YOUR gender!
YOUR body type!
YOUR ability!
YOUR strengths and YOUR weaknesses!

Generic formulas DON’T work.

Train how to CUSTOMIZE your self-improvement strategies.

Even though winter will soon be over, this mood disorder can often last well into spring for many people.  


Scott Spackey is a Counselor, Certified Life-Coach, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and Addiction Specialist who works with all ages. Call 661-299-1966 or email For more articles, visit

The Formula for Creating Behaviors: Repetition and Association

This is the formula for creating behaviors and habits. Good or bad is up to us. Whatever we apply this formula to will become a behavior, a habit, an addiction and a way of life. Good or bad is up to us!


Simple and easy to understand: We do something over and over again and it gets etched into our neural pathways, becoming so familiar that we eventually feel odd and uncomfortable if we DON’T do it.

You eat a donut every day at 4pm for 3 months, you’ll not only get fat and sugary arteries, but if you suddenly stop you will get an intense donut craving at 4 o’clock every day. It makes no difference how much you KNOW the donut is BAD or how much you WANT to pass on the 4 o’clock donut. Your body AND YOUR MIND will crave that donut to the point of absolute distraction. That’s how repetition works!

CONVERSELY: If you eat a high fiber health nut breakfast every day at 9am for 4 months you will not only CRAVE the good food every morning, but be REPELLED by unhealthy food at the same time!


Every donut you had in the beginning was enjoyable and tasty. In the beginning it was just an indulgence. A treat. And each time you enjoyed it you were installing a SUBCONSCIOUS ASSOCIATION of it being GOOD, i.e. pleasurable. You had a positive feeling and thought about it in the beginning and each time you did, the POSITIVE ASSOCIATION with the daily donut got etched deeper and deeper into your brain, mind and body.

PLEASE SUBSTITUTE DONUT WITH YOUR PARTICULAR VICE; SHOPPING, HEROIN, SEX, COKE, METH. It all works on similar principles just at different octaves!

This double whammy force etches the donut and the heroin behavior into your subconscious mind through REPETITION AND ASSOCIATION. Say it with me: REPETITION AND ASSOCIATION!

Now pay attention: YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD OR BAD BEHAVIORS. It only knows what you teach it. It only knows what you teach it through REPETITION AND ASSOCIATION.

Pleasure Pain Principle

Whether it’s donuts, heroin, TV, shopping or cocaine, your subconscious mind’s job is to enforce the PLEASURE PAIN PRINCIPLE: to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

THAT’S IT’S JOB: to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

In this basic fundamental way we are no different than simple minded, primitive animals. But we ARE different. We can interact with and shape and form our pain and pleasure associations with our WILL! You program a behavior through repetition and association and your subconscious assumes you did it for a good reason so it PROTECTS that behavior, no matter what it is!

That’s its job: To protect existing behaviors! You can—and often do—change your CONSCIOUS mind on a behavior but that doesn’t do it, does it?

If being thin, rich, charming, perfect were as simple as making up our CONSCIOUS minds we’d all be perfect, wouldn’t we?!

You wake up and see that jelly roll of fat from those accumulating donuts and say, “WHOA! I gotta lose some jelly belly! No more donuts! They are bad!”

You have made a CONSCIOUS decision to STOP eating donuts. And even though we’re not rocket scientists or brain surgeons, we have made a simple choice to stop eating donuts everyday so the work should be done, right? No. Because… The more we have REPEATED a behavior and the more positive the ASSOCIATION is, the more fiercely your subconscious mind will protect and reinforce it!

Tactical Support


But there’s good news too! If we DO get the subconscious on board it will do nearly all the work for us! AND since it doesn’t know the difference between good or bad behaviors and will protect ANYTHING and EVERYTHING with the same zeal, then we can get it to work FOR us instead of against us! This is EXACYTLY what is meant by CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Happy woman with outstretched arms enjoying the view on morning mountain valley

This is the power-science of your mind: To use the same formula it uses to sustain BAD behaviors, habits and addictions to create GOOD ones. REPEAT: We can use repetition and association to create good habits and behaviors and get the power science of the mind to work FOR us instead of against us!

Want to learn more about becoming a Recovery Supporter?

Click this link for more free resources!


(psych: soul/spirit/mind.  nautes: sailor/navigator)

“But,” said Alice, “the world has absolutely no sense, who’s stopping us from inventing one?” – Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Question: What is a psychonaut?
Answer: An explorer of varying states of consciousness.

A Psychonaut explores consciousness with a scientific intent or to expand and evolve themselves personally, often with the attitude of the bodhisattva (a person on the threshold of enlightenment, who chooses to postpone their liberation of the material existence in order to assist others in their pursuit of enlightening liberation).

Meditation, ritual, ceremony and challenging life-experiences are some of the mediums used to explore and expand consciousness and these are often combined with mind altering substances. Life experiences themselves can become tools towards enlightenment and consciousness exploration, leaving us with a simple truth that there are infinite combinations that can be used in psychonetics.

Like the 7 notes in the musical scale and 7 base colors of the wave spectrum which can be combined for an infinite number of chords, notes, shades and hues, the mediums for consciousness exploration are also as mutable.


Extreme sports enthusiasts are those who base-jump, skydive, free climb, snowboard or ski down totally vertical mountains. Things most “normal” people would never intentionally consider doing. As a matter of fact, most of us would accept death by tiger-mauling before jumping off of a cliff with our only means of survival being a hand-held parachute in our palm. For most people, and I mean rational people, tiger-mauling and base-jumping are synonymous with death.

Skydiver On Colorful Parachute In Sunny Clear Sky. Active Hobbies. Sun Over Dark Ground

“Yeah, it’s dangerous. But the need to go further and higher and faster is inescapable. When you’re in that moment, the rush and the excitement is all that exists. Yeah, you know it’s dangerous, but once you’ve tasted it, you’ve got to go more and more just to get near to the same satisfaction you once had. In those moments, life becomes absurdly simple and meaningful. Without it you can no longer be fulfilled!”

This is a quote from an extreme sports snowboarder who virtually risks his life for an adrenaline rush. And if this sounds a lot like the rhetoric you would expect from a hard-drug abuser, you’re right. Extreme drug enthusiasts infer the exact same idea. These activities – both extreme narcotic use and extreme sports – flirt with death and disaster. Heroin addicts can, and often do overdose, suffering from life-long complications or worse, death, as a result of their quest for the next big, bigger, biggest rush. Extreme base-jumpers, like one who experienced 5 months of painful, rigorous physical therapy to repair her broken body from a base-jump gone wrong, do the same thing. They risk so much for their next rush. And many of them die as well. The percentage of extreme sports players who die from their pursuit of bigger challenges are similar percentages to those who die from drug related deaths out of the 100% who use/play them.

There are major differences though. Extreme sports players train hard and train a lot. They use specialized equipment and put a lot of emphasis on preparation and caution. You won’t see a novice who has never base-jumped before going for broke… ever. They work their way up to the bigger challenges, but eventually they have to push beyond where they’ve been if they are to get the next, bigger rush. By contrast, the drug-abuse culture is filled with novices without training or experience and they, like an inexperienced skydiver, should not go too far too soon or they will, and often do, die.

I have skydived and scuba-dived, I have jumped from 50 foot waterfalls and hiked the sierras. My adventuring is not in the same class as the extreme sport player, but I have sampled it enough to know what they are getting out of it and they, like mystics, spiritualists, meditators and drug users, are psychonauts. Pushing themselves into extreme situations to go beyond normal human experience to see just… what… EXACTLY… is on the other side.

My motivation to jump from a perfectly good airplane to skydive was similar to my motivation to sample LSD or Crystal Meth. I wanted to feel something beyond the normal parameters of human experience. To brush up against death and see what it felt like and to live and tell the tale. But mostly so I could experience the profound, the special, the unknown and to have it change me!

To understand my own identity I must view the entire spectrum of it!

Want to learn more about becoming a Recovery Supporter?

Click this link for more free resources!

How Addiction Works

“How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another.” – Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Genesis of addiction

Addicts are born with an addictive nature. One that does not require a specific triggering set of circumstances, one that does not need an event or trauma to create it. It is present at inception, lying dormant in our spirit, our neurology, our biology, and our psychology. Addictive disorder, OCD, and other personality disorders are not triggered by any event. Neither are psychiatric disorders like schizophrenia.

Serious mental and psychological pathologies are inherent and nearly always latent. A schizophrenic who is diagnosed in his or her late teens or early twenties has been that way all along. Yet for most of his or her life, he or she was significantly asymptomatic.

Disorders are present from birth

This is well-established and accepted science. The natural physiological changes a human being goes through, such as puberty, are what bring the condition from a dormant state to an active one. OCD, schizophrenia, addiction, and other conditions are not merely pathologies of the body or mind, they are pathologies of the human spirit. Our spirit is far too complex and subtle to be measured. Addiction can be treated, but lies beyond the realm of conventional science and medicine.

Addiction originates in the human spirit

And we can treat the human spirit.

The “science” to do so is already known and available. Buddha, Christ, philosophers, gurus, spiritual masters, and personalities who are entirely immersed and “one with” the objective truth, spiritual truth, and actual reality all have the same theme to their “treatment” for humanity:

Surrender your wants, desires, and needs to a pure and complete spiritual reality that is made of compassion and love.

The human spirit cannot be reached by any form of science. So I wouldn’t hold my breath for the eventual “cure” for human sufferings like addiction, OCD, or other disorders. These and all afflictions are a component of existence for us to learn from and grow.

My Addiction Solution is the context, the nuts and bolts, and even more if you take the time to customize it intelligently with your own experience and mind-set to create your own strategy from it.

Let it evolve, and it will take on life.

What is addiction?

Addiction is a compulsive pathology with origins that can be traced to the defects or deficiencies of human thinking, neurology, physiology, psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. Successful treatment requires a lifelong, ongoing effort and progressive evolving on the part of the individual. The need to evolve and grow throughout life, not just in a single section or phase of it.

We all want more and would prefer to be more too, if possible. Addiction disorder can be treated, endured, and triumphed over. Addicts can have access to all the features of life that non-addicts can have, so long as they learn to work with and compensate for their handicap.

While addiction assuredly is a debilitating pathology, there are worse conditions. And this one can be treated, worked with, and managed — not cured, but worked with and managed.

Addiction treatment should be ongoing and comprehensive. No area of the human condition should be ignored, as this pathology pervades every aspect of one’s being.

Want to learn more about becoming a Recovery Supporter?

Click this link for more free resources!

What We Do

Recovery Supporters guides families through the recovery process. From intervention to wellness, living well, sobriety, liberation and restoration, we provide much more than support to addiction families, but the tools needed to thrive. 

Mission Statement

Recovery Supporters is dedicated to providing tools and strategies to the families and loved ones trapped by another’s addictions. Recovery supporters cannot be free themselves, so long as an addicted loved one still participates in addiction. Recovery Supporters does not just provide support to those affected by another’s addiction, but teaches them how to intervene and begin an ending to the addiction affecting them all. We teach how to change addiction behavior to recovery behavior so all can be liberated from the suffering addiction is causing them. 

Addiction damages not just addicted individuals but the family, friends and others affected by their behaviors.  

Portrait of an elderly grandmother with an adult granddaughter sitting on the sofa at home, hugging. Close up.

Who’s Qualified to Help an Addict?

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, neighbors, friends — anyone affected by a person’s addictive behaviors is qualified to be a Recovery Supporter.

Who’s Not Qualified to Help an Addict’s Recovery?

Dysfunctional people are NOT qualified to help an addict’s recovery. An addict needs to focus on recovery. Personal relationships have to be put on pause. Recovery Supporters need to accept this. 

• The early stages of recovery impair clarity and make us fragile, so caution is required in all things for awhile.

• The role of a Recovery Supporter can be a life-changing and life-saving role for both parties. This cannot be overstated.

• Doing nothing is worse than doing something badly. Commit ALL the way or get outta the way!

• No addict has become an addict to punish you. They’re unstable, NOT evil!

• Addiction is not personal, but it will disguise and present itself that way again and again.

• Addiction is an alien living in the brain. The alien in the brain motivates the addict to be hurtful to convince partners to give up.

• No one truly knows what it’s like to be someone else. Addict’s aren’t stupid or weak just because they cannot do or understand what is so easy for you.

• Addiction is not a reasonable choice; it is a compulsory behavior. Judgment of an addict impedes progress and recovery.

• Recovery Supporters do not have to accept someone as an addict. Addicts should learn they will not have relationships with quality people if they continue to use.

• Addicts should never feel that they are inferior to non addicts.

• Recovery Supporters are victims of addiction.

• If you’re not an addict—or stupid, unstable, poor, ugly, or otherwise defective—be grateful, not arrogant.

• We all have defects. Within moments of listening to you expose someone else’s faults, I can expose yours too.

• An unstable person finds comfort and strength in recovery partners that are reliable and consistent.

• A Recovery Supporter needs to be firm—not passive, not aggressive, not passive-aggressive, but firm.

Mother Talking With Unhappy Teenage Daughter On Sofa

• Recovery cannot afford pauses or stops due to life’s changes and unpredictability. Sobriety requires absolute, unwavering focus.

• We do not need to believe in recovery. It’s not Santa Claus or a unicorn; it is real and available.

• Work plus sacrifice will always equal improvement. How much improvement, we cannot know, but some is better than none.

• Nothing is good nor bad till thinking makes it so. – Shakespeare

• Recovery Supporters need objectivity: the quality of experiencing something without being influenced by our own personal perspective of it.

• There are two qualities that come with being mature: dignity and grace.

Unhappy husband sitting by table and leaning over glass of water while young woman trying to reassure him

• Maturity does not suppress our emotions and thoughts. It expresses and communicates them with respect and sensitivity.

• Be mature, be graceful, and be dignified, and if you aren’t, don’t be afraid to acknowledge and compensate for your own errors.

• STAY STRONG: An addict will resent you for not loving him or her enough to have gotten tough when the tough got going.

• Giving in to an addict is not compassionate; it’s reckless.

• No one goes down without a fight, and you shouldn’t either. An addiction will fight to protect itself like a rabid dog, so you better be willing to fight to protect the agreed-upon goals.

Have confidence. It’s infectious!

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